The Razzies Are Coming! The Razzies Are Coming!

Why so glum Christina?

"and you're in my mirror AGAIN?"

Oh right, you suspect that a Razzie nomination is coming your way for Worst Actress for Burlesque? Happily the movie, though, is not on the longlist for a potential Worst Picture bid.

Worst Picture Longlist:  The Bounty Hunter, Clash of the Titans, The Expendables, Grown Ups, Jonah Hex, Killers, The Last Airbender, Little Fockers, Sex and the City 2, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Vampires Suck and Yogi Bear.

Nominations will be announced on Monday, January 24th. You can still join up and be a voter for $25 [begging] but if you have $25 to throw around, I'd prefer you donate it to The Film Experience. I work hard for you all year and the Razzies only spring up once! [/begging]

The Razzies are rarely discussed in a serious way on the web as it's mostly an opportunity for free-form mocking. It's good that Burlesque missed this longlist. Burlesque is NOT a bad movie; it's fully aware of what it is and it's totally entertaining. If you get a good helping of entertainment out of a movie, it is not worthy of Worst Picture gong.

But in some ways, the Razzies reflect just as much laziness in groupthink voting as any of the "Best" focused precursors do year in and year out. Both actresses are on the longlists for Worst Actress. There is nothing about Cher, as an actress, that one could conceivably view as worst; she's fully aware of what she's capable of and she's totally entertaining (I'm sensing a repetitive theme here). More inexplicably, since Cher is an easy/visible/lazy target, is that Cam Gigandent is on the longlist of Worst Supporting Actor for his best performance to date... which is not saying much, but throw a guy a bone! If you can watch Easy A and Burlesque and think he's worse in the latter, you are probably missing your eyeballs altogether. (In which case: How are you watching movies, silly!?)

There Are 41 Songs (& Vids). There Is Only 1 CHER.

41 Songs were declared eligible for Oscar's least cinematically relevant prize a short while ago. Wheeee!

We only didn't share them yesterday because every single damn thing happens in the same week. I'd be more excited about this category if recent years hadn't seen the big show trending away from original performers singing their original songs. If I can't see Cher doing her Burlesque number(s) on Oscar night, someone is going down.

The Academy will choose up to 5 of these songs as nominees, depending on how their voting goes. I've included video accompaniment when available - listen (and watch up).



 Which are you rooting for?

Please god no. No more honors for this eyesore movie.

"Alice" from Alice in Wonderland

"Forever One Love" from Black Tulip 

"Freedom Song" from Black Tulip

 oooh, now this is more like it. Sadly, it's only a partial video.

"Welcome to Burlesque" from Burlesque

 

a Burlesque suite.

"Bound to You" from Burlesque 

"You Haven‘t Seen the Last of Me" from Burlesque

Despical Meusic Videos from Narnia

"There‘s a Place for Us" from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

"Despicable Me" from Despicable Me 

"Coming Home" from Country Strong 

"Me and Tennessee" from Country Strong
Country Strong has a YouTube channel but neither of their eligible songs are featured. Weirdness.
"Prettiest Girls" from Despicable Me

 

Jeg ♥ Sondre Lerche and not just because he's Norwegian, kjenner du.

"Dear Laughing Doubters" from Dinner for Schmucks

eat pray love & going the distance.

"Better Days" from Eat Pray Love 

"If You Run" from Going the Distance

demo version of Holy Rollers end credits and live Jónsi perf.

"Darkness before the Dawn" from Holy Rollers

"Sticks & Stones" from How to Train Your Dragon

There's no mistaking Bill Plympton's animated films for anyone else's

"Le Gris" from Idiots and Angels
 "Chanson Illusionist" from The Illusionist

God clearly hates me that I am forced to share that music video (to your left)

"Never Say Never" from The Karate Kid 

"To the Sky" from Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga‘Hoole

"What If" from Letters to Juliet

"Life during Wartime" from Life during Wartime

"Made in Dagenham" from Made in Dagenham (couldn't find a vid but here's a sample)

"Little One" from Mother and Child (no vid but sample - pretty song)

"Be the One" from The Next Three Days (no video -- why not Moby? You used to make good ones -- but here's the song)

"If I Rise" from 127 Hours (song)

"When You See Forever" from The Perfect Game

"I Remain" from Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (no Alanis video but here's the song)

"Dream Big" from Pure Country 2: The Gift

"How I Love You" from Ramona and Beezus (no vid but here's the song)

Remember Landon Pigg from Whip It? His punishment for treating Ellen Page like crap is singing a Shrek song.

"Darling I Do" from Shrek Forever After

"Noka Oi" from Six Days in Paradise (no video but here's the song)

"This Is a Low" from Tamara Drewe 

"Rise" from 3 Billion and Counting

Two likely nominees from animated hits.

"I See The Light" from Tangled
"We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3

"Eclipse: All Yours" from The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (it's not embeddable which saves me from having to promote Twilight. Yay.)

I'm still kinda pissed that Justin Timberlake survived but Janet Jackson's career was demolished. Just sayin'

"Nothing" from Tyler Perry‘s Why Did I Get Married Too 

"A Better Life" from Unbeaten 

"Shine" from Waiting for 'Superman‘

"The Reasons Why" from Wretches & Jabberers (here's the song)

Name your preferred five songs in the comments. Or maybe you think they should just dump this category all together?
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